123

Stephen and I were driving back to Norman from the Nine Inch Nails show at the BOK center in Tulsa last night- the most entertaining and captivating show I've ever seen in an arena. 

Stephen asked me how things were going with my interactions with the Lord, and I quickly told him how distracting spirits have been creating a wall between us. I would sit down to pray and worship the Lord, and unless I was in the presence of someone else who did not have the distracting spirits around them, I would instantly be caught up in 'the cares of this world' (homework, errands, other things the Lord is doing, music, obligations), therefore ruining my time set aside for intimacy with Jesus.

The rest of the ride home, I noticed the atmosphere change, and some of the road signs and numbers were highlighted. "See Moore" appeared on a sign outside Moore, Oklahoma as I was talking to Stephen about how I knew we would 'see more' things happen if we pushed through the crap of the Enemy. "Show me the love" was on a heart surgery billboard during a discussion on being a Lover of the Lord. Finally, "123" showed up a few times on the clock and signs, reminding me of a time when Psalm 123 had spoken to me significantly (though I had forgotten what it said).

I got home and read Psalm 123, journaling about how I want to see the Lord and wait on the Lord. Feeling only a little bit successful and a little more tired (therefore a ton more defeated), I went to sleep. 

I dreamt that I saw Sigur Ros play a private concert, where I got to go and meet the lead singer mid-set. Immediately after shaking his hand, he broke out into a worship set, saying the name of Jesus instead of Icelandic words.

Waking up from that felt great. I had a feeling God wanted me to worship Him for at least an hour, playing through the "()" album by Sigur Ros (my favorite prayer background music, hands down).

Seeing 1:23 pm on the oven clock and realizing the date was 11-23-08, I felt it was a good time to start seeking the Lord. I started out blessing my room with the Presence of the Lord, realizing I have 3 doors as entrances to my room that could conveniently usher in the Triune God we worship and pray to. I read Psalm 123 over and over, praying the mercy of God over myself.

Then, after about 45 minutes minimum, my mind was blown. I cracked open "My Utmost for His Highest" for the first time in a couple months or so, and the title said:

November 23

Distraction of Antipathy

"Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us:

for we are exceedingly filled with contempt."

Psalm 123:3

WHAT THE CRAP!? The signs, the clocks, the date... the very verse and topic of a book up on my shelf.

And to top it off, I looked at my other Bible I hadn't used in weeks.. yeah, the bookmark was in Psalm 123.

I don't know why God does stuff like this. I don't need to know why. All I take from this one is that God knows my heart, my thoughts, my afflictions. And He wants me to be my deliverer in this time.

These are those situations where God makes Himself physically apparent. Maybe this is a taste of Heaven on Earth. Another glimpse of the Spiritual coming into the Physical. Another reason to give up trying to make anything out to be 'coincidence.'

New Horizons (Part 1 of 2)

As we prayed with His Tribe in a conference room in the City Rescue Mission last Thursday, Philip asked Jesus, "Jesus, show us where we are going."

Immediately in my spirit I saw myself on a boat, next to Jesus, looking out over the bow. His finger was pointed out in front at the dark blue horizon.

Not long after that I also just saw a glimpse of a baby.

Then, not two minutes passed and Shane (His Tribe's leader) prayed, "Jesus, you're bringing new horizons. New horizons and new life."

Prayer ended quickly after that, and in the calm stillness that comes after a great prayer, I heard (physically) a baby in its mother's arms crying as they passed by the door to the room. 

This theme was definitely for many people in many ways. Quite a few new believers were being baptized in a church service following our small prayer time, for example.

But, as you could imagine, due to the imagery the Lord was giving me in the spirit and how it correlated with what was being prayed aloud, I felt the Lord had some of that ready to give to me personally.

And it's obvious. The next day, amid the everyday, expected 'Christian Inspirational' books at Borders, I found one lonely copy of Good Morning, Holy Spirit by Benny Hinn. Here would be a good time for you to read the post previous to this one. I'd been hearing about this book from friends, curriculum, stories and sermons from Bethel Church in Redding, California (a church with a heart and fruit that we as Norman Community Church are following after and contending for as our own), that it was a really good book to understanding the 'mysterious' Third Person of the Trinity.

Along with the fruit and movement happening among some of my close friends in Fort Collins, Colorado, the revelation the Lord has been giving me through this book has been paradigm-shifting... offering the 'new horizon and new life.'

And here's why:

We believe in the Trinity. The Triune God. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. But understanding who the Holy Spirit is will change your life. It's been changing mine this whole year, and after beginning this book this weekend, there is a face to the One I've been interacting with. He is the precious, lovely Holy Spirit. A Person of His own, just like Jesus and the Father. All three are equal. All three are God. All three function separately and simultaneously in unison as One.

I loved this imagery:

I tell you to turn on the light. You turn on the light. But what makes the light turn on? Electricity.

God said 'Let there be light.' (Genesis 1:1-2) Jesus did it. (John 1:1) The Holy Spirit made it happen. He was the 'electricity.'

God speaks to us. Jesus does the talking. The Holy Spirit delivers the message.

The Holy Sprit is our Comforter. Our Teacher. Our Counselor. Our Helper.

The following stolen from here.

The Holy Spirit is a Person

with a personality. 

referred to in personal terms : John 15:26, John 16:7-8, John 16:13-14

acting as a person acts

    speaking : 1 Timothy 4:1

    loving : Romans 15:30

    teaching : John 14:26

    interceding : Romans 8:26

The Holy Spirit is Deity

    eternal : Hebrews 9:14

    omnipresent : Psalm 139:7-10

    omniscient, knows all things, the 'deep things of God' : 1 Corinthians 2:10-11

    taught the apostles 'all things' : John 14:26, John 16:12-13

    involved in Creation : Genesis 1:2, Job 33:4, Psalm 104:30

    intimately associated with the Father and the Son : Matt. 28:19, 1 Cor 12:4-6, 2 Cor 13:14, 1 Peter 1:2

Some Old Testament passages attributed to YHWH as the speaker are applied to the Spirit in the New Testament : Isaiah 6:8 to Acts 28:25 and Exodus 16:7 to Hebrews 3:7-9

A Couple Thoughts On Benny Hinn

This is a deep subject with much more to it than I've included here, and I understand that. But I believe we are doing (and I have been doing up until now) a huge injustice to parts of the Body by being judgmental toward people like Benny Hinn and in many discussions outright grieving the Holy Spirit by certain comments on what things 'should' or 'shouldn't' look like in the Kingdom.

If you're interested in knowing more about the Holy Spirit as the 'Third Person of the Trinity,' read Good Morning, Holy Spirit by Benny Hinn. I know, Benny Hinn... Schmuck, isn't he? I've thought so too for my whole life - even when I went 'all spiritual,' I was never okay with big crusades of some 'for real' healings and some 'fake' ones, super-shady personas with 'obvious' financial greed, not to mention the televised aspect of all of this, thinning what already sounds surface level to amount to borderline void of authenticity.

But here's the truth that offends my mind but still is the truth : God anoints people regardless of their integrity. You don't earn things with God. God gives us gifts of the Holy Spirit. Who ever deserves a gift, unless the giver is a person of conditional love? In fact, I'm coming to a place where I'm more than okay with people like Benny Hinn (those who are anointed but have no integrity- although I think people misinterpret Benny quite a bit) because the less someone deserves what God has given them a grace for, the less they can take credit for what is happening in their ministry. But enough on that, because this has nothing to do with how we should approach Benny Hinn.

Benny Hinn is not a bad person. By exposing him as a liar, thief, or actor we are doing more damage than good in the Kingdom. I've looked at his beliefs, I've read his book. There is nothing more alarming about his beliefs than those contained in the Baptist Faith and Message. If I were him, I would not be driving a cadillac (or mercedes, whatever), own a golf course (I think that's true...), a $750,000 house or sell my paperback books for more than $14.00 each... I hope. But if I did do those things, would I be wrong? You tell me where it is right for us to judge these decisions of another brother in Christ. It's not.

The other truth that offended my mind but is still true is this : The Holy Spirit, through Benny Hinn, has healed thousands (that figure's a guess...). Sure some aren't healed. But many are... As has been the case as I've prayed for people to be healed. Except my ministry thus far has been mostly based on obedience and less on fruit... meaning my ratios are less impressive than those of Hinn.

My question is : What do we do as Christians about Benny Hinn? Since he seems shady we should quench out the work of the Holy Spirit? No. We pray for him. We pray that he would have a life of integrity that matches the anointing on his life. That he would have love, as it appears in 1 Corinthians 13, which is greater than all the works, healings, words, tongues and prophecies he has given. But if people are coming to an intimate relationship with Jesus, are healed, or are given words from the Lord via Benny's anointing that cause them to fall in love with the Man Jesus, I say more power to Him.

He's freaky. He wears gaudy clothes and looks like he smells weird. He spends money weird. He steps out in faith in weird ways that seem theatrical (such as waving his jacket around and healing people with it... which isn't what he's really doing, by the way). Credible sources say his ministry is irresponsible with their monetary spending. Almost everything that happens on his stage is offensive to the mind. 

Mark 16:17

"And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; the will speak in new tongues; 18 they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."

Why is it okay for many pastors to get up every sunday and speak good things, with no signs accompanying them, but live a pretty 'acceptable' (although still human) lifestyle, and be 'a good, grounded pastor'

while some, such as the freaky Benny Hinn, Heidi Baker, John Paul Jackson, Bill Johnson, Todd Bently dudes/chicks...

speak good things, have signs and wonders accompanying them by the thousands, but live a pretty 'out there' (although still human) lifestyle, and be 'wrong?'

What if God told Benny to do everything he has been doing and Benny has been completely obedient, unwavering under the pressure of negative media and scoffing evangelicals.. and we were wrong in our judgments against him? 

What a loss in the Kingdom that would be.

Which side will you err on?

Caught Up In The Crossfire

I've been in the crossfire of Heaven and Hell. I've watched firsthand as the Lord put HIs hand of joy, peace, rest, and comfort on a girl who thought she'd run too far from Him to ever feel Him again. I've seen demons leap upon recently delivered friends and family to try and taint their freedom and identity. I've sat with a man on a bench and heard the Lord reveal life-altering truths that offended all the evil that had been oppressing him for months. Seconds afterward, I heard the voice of the Enemy combat those spiritual truths with logic. I've laid on the ground for hours experiencing the peace and love of God, only to rise to my feet feeling accusing, condemning, and obligating spirits physically and emotionally attack.

Heaven is a real place. Here, as well as 'up there.'

Hell is a real place. Here, as well as 'down there.'

As we contend for Heaven to come to Earth as Jesus taught us to do - "... Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven." - we naturally experience resistance from the Enemy. But I guess I'm just here to say to you it's intense. It's intensely good, freeing, and right. It's intensely powerful. But it's intensely irritating to the evil that has a grip on so many people, lulling the Body of Christ to sleep and demonizing prodigals that need to come back home to their Father God.

But the good news is we have won. The Lord purchased our fear, our guilt. At an expensive price, too... 

All Satan can do is lie to us. He's the great Deceiver. Any power the Devil has over your life, be it skepticism, guilt, shame, accusation, fear, addiction, whatever... ITS ALL ROOTED IN A LIE from the Devil. No will power gets you out of a place you don't actually exist in. You aren't a bad person. You aren't chained up. You aren't addicted to anything. There is a liar telling you what is happening to you, keeping you in his captivity - telling you that God wants to discipline you for what you've been doing - that you're going to have to do things right.

And those spirits of religion, obligation, fear, and shame do not belong on you. God will not spank you for what you've done. He will throw a party for your return to Him. He is too in love with you to give you what you deserve. Since when was God's love conditional? He's always there at the foot of your bed, waiting for you to say you love Him and that He is your portion. You can't push Him away. You can wound Him... But He'll always be there. Loving you. 

Be loved. Don't do anything. There's nothing you can do to be loved by God. Just be loved. Encounter His love. God doesn't want your ministry, your worship, your 'faithfulness.' He wants you. You're his Bride.

I feel like maybe one or possibly two people needed this. For those of you.... know that there really is a Satisfier. A perfect One that gives you everything you have even the slightest desire for. The One who installed those desires in you. He is burning with a Jealous Love for you. Experience His power.

Okay, that's all. I love you, whoever has read this far. :)

November

Thank God October's over.

I almost lost faith last month.

If it weren't for the little kisses that came just in time, I never would've persevered.

Earlier I named October the 'Month of Remembrance.'

I think more accurately it should be named the 'Month of the Enemy's Arrows Finding Gaps in My Armor.'

So far, and I know I'm jumping the gun once again on this one, November has been named the 'Month of Freedom for the Captives.' God is in a mood to release the captives right now. Not tomorrow, not when 'it's a good time.' Right Now. Geographical areas that once were a stronghold for the Devil are being turned over to become little flames of a passion for Jesus. God is releasing the chains on hearts that have been on the run for a long time. Right now. And what is the best evidence? ('Cuz we all know emotionalism can put people in good moods and make them feel free for a while)

Here's the evidence:

The demons by the names of Religion, The Fear of Man, Accusation, Lust, Shame, and Guilt are trying to find homes. They're rearing their repulsive heads against the individuals they were demonizing, formerly creating a strange 'comfort.' Now, as we are released and the demonic is cast out of our rooms, realms, and atmospheres, they're trying to get back inside their 'homes' in new ways and we feel it as anxiety, accusation, fear, and guilt. But it's external. They have no home anymore.

So here's to you free people:

Claim your freedom over yourself. You Are Free. You Are God's. Recognize the table set before you and eat from Jesus' body and drink from his blood. Don't do anything. BE free. Be free to let your mind wander where it wants. Satan wants you to feel guilty. God wants you to be you. Don't pray. Don't read. Don't write. BE with Jesus. He'll do everything else:

such as:

Speak to you through the Bible.

Intercede for you.

Install a wailing wall heart of intercession inside you.

Impart zeal for His house on you.

Reveal perfect peace to you.

You can't do anything to make him give you these things except receive them from Him.

End Rant.

Freedom.2

There's a lot of 'activity' happening right now. It seems the Enemy is out prowling around, getting pissed off by the enabled lovers of Jesus, and resorting to annoyances and other games in order to throw off our rhythms. We are to live in a rhythmic heartbeat aligned with Jesus'. We are created to live and walk in freedom. So here's a prayer for you: 'you' meaning anyone in need of freedom from the arrows of the Enemy...

Lord, Jesus. We love you. We are yours, crazed with love and drunk with love, desiring to just press our faces to your chest and hear your heartbeat. We long to spend time with you. We don't desire to do business with you as a commissioned servant. We long to just be with you until you take us wherever we need to go. 

Father I pray you would break the chains on the people reading this right now. Flood their lives with peace and intimacy with you. May they find themselves in you. May they hear your voice for what it really is. May the truth of your glory and your presence not only pass by them, but envelop them and take them into a place of complete peace. In this place, begin speaking and repeating your love over them. Tell them the names you call them by. Tell them how much you dream about them. Whisper your sweet everythings into their ears gently and tell them everything is okay. Nothing is in need of worry. All disease and sickness and pain and anxiety and accusation has to fall away in your Glorious Presence. 

We aren't after emotionalism. We're after the Face of God. We can't help but be entranced when we finally see your face. Steal our minds, God. Captivate our hearts. Never let us go. We have no where else to go. We have nothing else that will do. Our anxiety and our worry and our walls of protection don't work. We have no home but in You. 

Thank you.

I'm in love with you.

Bless these people You've had stumble upon this post in the Name of Jesus.

Amen.

Freedom

I met with my spiritual/prophetic father (Philip) and grandfather (Shane) tonight at Winan's (a coffee shop). We just sat and had coffee and talked about what the Lord has been doing. This was a great ender to October - the month of remembrance, remember? I feel like October was just a struggled, oppressive, hard-to-push-through month. A year after the purging the demons that wanted me to indulge in the fleeting 'peace' they were offering a year ago visited me for a yearly checkup to see if I would go their route or the Lord's this time. I remember having to consciously choose the wine of Holy Spirit over alcohol and intimacy with Jesus over sexual indulgence with new girls to fill the void that was created. By the enabling power of God (grace) I over and over chose the Lord. Which brought me here a year later. Now, having again put my stake in the ground and saying 'God is my portion,' I'm off to a great second November for this Revival I've found myself in.

Freedom's the theme so far these past two days. Praise God I'm not called to discipline, doctrine, obedience or abstinence. 

I'm called to a life of walking in Freedom from sin. Not abstaining from it. I can't do that. But I can and will walk in Freedom from it in order to see Jesus face to face. 

I'm excited.