Soak

Back in the Summer of 2006, while I was a counselor at New Life Ranch, I met Philip Rice. Due to timely appointments clearly from the Lord, we found ourselves retreating to remote rooms or buildings around the camp, playing music and praying together. At this point, deep intimacy in prayer was a familiar element in Phil's life. Despite my history of leading worship for years at my hometown church and knowing there could be more than I was experiencing back then, I could hardly believe the level of God's presence and love that existed while Phil and I sat in these candle-lit rooms alone with the Lord.

I realized a few things:

- Prayer and worship are learned behaviors.

- One cannot base their knowledge of God's presence on personal experience. 

- No one knows the extent to which someone can experience God's Presence.

- Although the Holy Spirit draws us in, God is a gentleman- He won't force Himself on you. You have a choice in receiving His unconditional love or rejecting it.

- We can always go deeper and know more of His presence- but we better be ready to look more and more ridiculous.

I vividly recall one night when the two of us were walking out of a dark, vacant chapel after sitting and experiencing Heavenly worship. We parted ways to go to our rooms and looking to me with a look of relaxation and rejuvenation, he said, "That was a good soak."

soak : [sohk] - verb

1. to lie in and become saturated or permeated with water or some other liquid.

2. to pass, as a liquid, through pores, holes, or the like : The rain soaked through the tear in the umbrella.

3. to be thoroughly wet.

4. to penetrate or become known to the mind or feelings. : The lesson didn't soak in.

5. to drink immoderately, esp. alcoholic beverages : They were soaking at the bar.

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God doesn't want you to know about Him. He doesn't want to know about you. He desires (more than you or I ever will) for you to know Him, experience Him. He wants you to feel Him. You're doing him no favors by saying, "It's enough for me to be 'reverent' and distanced from You." Calling it emotionalism is blasphemous, grieving the Lord who is crying out for communion with His beloved- YOU.

Screw sipping on the Living Water. I wanna soak in Him. Forget moderation. I wanna get drunk on the new wine of The Spirit. (I understand that the semantics can get confusing for someone who doesn't know me, but I have no other way of putting it.) I can't keep it in. I've found the purpose of my life. The life source I have always needed and searched in all the wrong places to find.

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It will look different for you than it does for me. That's the beautiful part. God has a perfect, intimate way of interacting with you. He's designed you to commune with Him in a way that is completely unique and suited for you. But understand the jealousy of Him- He wants the thing you just can't give Him, and if that means vomiting up your religious doctrine that has been encaging Him, you'll have to hang over the toilet for a while before you experience Him fully.

... and trust me- personally, I've never known such a beautiful purging.