A Prayer

A woman I met in Mozambique: She lived by digging through trash, just like Santo (below). She and her few friends were the most passionate worshipers and cheerful offering givers I've ever seen. And they lived on freaking WASTE.

I love you.

Thank you for the people you've placed in my life. Thank you for calling me deeper. I am honored to be invited to suffer with you. When I hear the Enemy coming after me, his disgusting breath stinging my nostrils, as if he's just about to wrap the noose around my neck, I am filled with joy. I am filled with joy in suffering because I know it is the storm before the calm. It is the time right before I get to fall more in love with you because of your steadfast love, your everlasting and ever-delicious provision, faithfulness, and revelation. I don't claim to have you figured out. You are blowing my mind every day. When I am confused, frustrated, and even doubting, I know deep down that you are constant. Your love will never end. Your faithfulness will never end. Your goodness will never end. Your provision will never end. I love your name.... Lord. Jesus. Holy Spirit.

Holy Spirit, fall. Fall on the people/person who read/s this right now in the name of Jesus. We welcome you into our lives, Lord. We want to be like you. Even though that will look like a bruised, bleeding, exposed heart beating out of our chests, we welcome it. Thank you for wanting our hearts. Take them. We say they are yours.

Things are moving in your Kingdom. Things are also trying to move against those things from the Opposing side. But we know that this is just affirmation that you are taking ground for the restoration of lost souls, runaway children, sickness, death, and destruction. Come, Lord! Take your place on the throne of our hearts, and reach out through them through your ministry of reconciliation. Make us completely empty of ourselves in order for your will to be done.

Reader,

I love you. 

Thank you for reading this. Be blessed by this somehow. If there's anyway I can, and I don't care if this sounds weird, I pull you into this fire. It is such a good burn. You will be rid of everything that is not the Lord's. You will be used to visit the widowed and the orphaned, proclaim liberty to the captives, and feed the hungry. Your war will no longer be for flesh and blood. It will be a spiritual battle that will bring Glory to the Lord.

And I'm not saying this because I've got this down. God's got me down, I guess. He's got my legs tied, and the rope is thrown over his shoulder. He's raking me across the coals, dragging me through rocks, water, mud, and blades. It's hitting me even now. This life of intimacy with the Lord is not fun... all the time. It is very fun many times, but holy crap! It hurts! But here's the sick thing: it's such a good hurt. I'd rather feel pain from Him, knowing it's His Will, than feel the pleasure of one more sexual interaction, back rub, porn trip, pot high, or alcohol binge.

Release control.

He's good.

I can honestly say I've tasted and seen it. And not through 'Blessed Christianity' as we see it on TV and the pulpits of our white-middle-class-American churches. And not because I've surfaced from the Refining Oven that burns. But IN it. IN the MIDDLE of it. INSIDE it. Stop waiting for a 'good time' to sit back and release the control. Do it now.

That's all.

Amen.