Still On the Road

I'm in a small town about an hour from San Antonio, Texas right now. I've been here since last Sunday. Before that I was in Austin for the weekend to break up the drive from Gulf Shores, Alabama.

This is the end of the 4th week of our 8 week worship leading thing. I miss my home. Here's what I mean by home:

Walking around the lake in my old neighborhood in Norman, talking to the Lord and spending time alone with Him. Watching birds, trees, grass, and water worship the King.

Praying with Blake Slatten, Bo Walbrick, Joe Thomas, and Skyler Fike in that house, sprawled out for hours on the floor listening to Sigur Ros or Misty Edwards. Letting the Holy Spirit come and blow our minds again and again.

Going over to the D-house and sitting in the prayer room, talking with Phil Rice, Brett Colclasure, Evan French, Tate James, etc. about what the Lord is doing in our lives that moment.

Wasting the weekends with Crystal Mayhue, Madison Kerner, Blair Gunnels, Evan King, Stephen Pyle, my sister Ashley, and others by going to worship the Lord on Friday nights in the homeless and addicted community of Oklahoma City, then going again on Saturday mornings to spend time at the Crack House- turned- Ministry there.

Practicing and playing shows with The Neighborhood a few times a month, letting the Lord exhaust all my musical abilities.

Praying and doing life with Stephen Pyle, Brett Colclasure, and Madison Kerner- seeing the Lord use parallels and prophetic giftings to heal, speak, and move us in His Kingdom.

But here's the home that I know actually matters:

The place of intimacy with the Lord that comes almost exclusively through suffering.

The place of brokenness that oddly feels so good, because it's what Jesus feels for the ones He loves.

The bruising, the beating, the starving, the exhaustion... that leads to knowing God more.

Lord, my home is in you. But I pray for the people I call my family:

Mom, Dad, Ash, Ashley Lauren, Jon; Stephen Pyle, Brett Colclasure, Phil Rice, Madison Kerner, Crystal Mayhue, Blake Slatten, Grant Ferguson, Ira Ralston, Bo Walbrick, Joe Thomas, Skyler Fike, the Mozambique team, the people at the Refuge, the people at the City Rescue Mission, the people of Praise Night, the musicians around Norman and Tulsa... so many others.

Keep them in the palm of your hand. If you want to take them from me, I understand. I don't deserve any of these beautiful followers of you. I get overwhelmed with gratitude when I think of even one of these people. You've spoken to me so deeply through each of these. Why, Lord? Why do you choose to spoil me like this? How can I begin to be faithful to you when you've done all this for me? Rid me of the lie that I have any say in keeping these people in my life this Fall. I open my hands to you. These are people you've allowed me to fall madly in love with, and my tendency is to latch onto them and call them my own, but I know you have a bigger plan for them. Help me trust you in what comes of these relationships I've seen begin, grow, flourish, and move. Help me move in rhythm with you, and don't allow me to stand in the way of these people doing what you've called them to do. Bless the crap out of them, Lord. Now, in the name of Jesus, even physically, would you just FLOOD their lives with so much blessing that they don't have enough room for it (Malachi 3:10). Thank you, Lord. I love you. I love these people. I love the You in these people. The You in me is drawn to the You in them, and their hearts have resonated so deeply with mine that it has ruined me. I'll never be able to settle for a less-than-mind-blowing, breathing relationship with someone ever again.

Wow.