Locking Doors or The Thief Comes to Steal

I love/hate walking with the Lord.

-Thought that intro sentence would catch you... okay, I love it, but my flesh really comes out sometimes and hates living like this- sometimes I wish I could just make my own plans, follow through with them, and not be so multi-personality-ish. And sometimes I wish I could see all dreams as just coincidence, a jumbled mess of human thoughts and firing neurons or whatever it is, mixed with bad pizza from the night before. But they're not. So I go crazy and God starts speaking to me through them. Freaked out? Just wait till I post about what He does with me and numbers, whew!

Gah, it's already the 8th? Well, I wrote '4.9.08' in my journal 6 times yesterday, so I guess I've been ahead anyway. On the 5th or so I had a dream about locking doors. Sort of.

I have been seeing myself locking doors recently: The Neighboorhood, The Refuge, Nick Thurmond Band, Norman Community, my friends, family, school, blah blah blah... I've been spending a lot of time 'locking up the house', settling some details about moving away from all of it, and making some big strides toward Antioch Community Church (Waco). I've been renouncing all I have in order to follow Him. I still don't know what this means for the Fall, or even what it means for this next moment, but my prayer is just that I would be doing the right thing now. Tomorrow isn't even promised. James 4:13-17 "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you don't even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.' As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, that knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."

Mouthful, I know. But I'm saying that because that is the basis for why I will jump from one 'plan' to another. As Phil always says, "I see things through a dirty mirror." If I knew what I would be doing in a year, or tomorrow, or whatever, I'd be God. My place is always at His feet. Nowhere else. And the more I'm surrendered to Him and dead to myself, the more I will know what I'm going to do in a year, two years... just kidding. Just seeing if you're paying attention to me... The more I'm dead, the less I will know what the crap is going on- at least as far as what everyone else refers to as 'plans', 'priorities', 'the right thing to do', 'security', etc.

So here's the dream: I'm walking around my house (apparently I have a rustic house in a field), locking up all the doors (I also have tons of doors), getting ready to leave. But every time I lock a door and move around to lock the next few, a door from a few ago will fly open, as if it's on a spring or something. Then, each time the door flies open, I just know there is an Enemy in my house, robbing me of what I have.

Now, I'm not a prophet by any means (although I have a prophetic gifting that switches on occasionally), so I'm not claiming to have this one nailed- remember the dirty mirror? But I do feel like this dream is telling me I need to kind of "man the battlestation." For now, meaning, this moment, I need to be still. I feel like I've been faithful in walking toward Waco in this passed season, but for now, maybe just for today, I need to be S T I L L . .

So I'm gonna go be still, sit in His Presence, and know He is who He says he is. Doesn't matter where that takes me. I'm along for the ride.